Secondly - life can be pretty harsh, throwing different kinds of things at you, occasionally stuffing them into your mouth until you slowly but surely feel like suffocating. The last second before the definite pass-out you manage to breathe again, thinking nothing this bad will come along your way again. And there it is, lurking behind the corner.
This time, there will be no melodramatic wishes. There will be no enthusiasm about the upcoming months, no big-eyed expectations of what the new year could bring along the way. And - there won't be even animals. Or eh, wait...
The next lines are based on my current view on life. They reflect what's most important to me, my attitude and stuff I tell people when they approach me regarding things happening in their lives. This is how I function after a year that has (re-)shaped me more than any other.
This is my truth. You can tell me yours.
Life is precious. And more fragile than it seems.
The person passing by on the street doesn't have to be here tomorrow. Someone you love doesn't have to be here next time you're supposed to meet. You can't be sure you will still be here in the evening. There is nothing more important than here and now - in 200 years, you and everyone you have ever known won't probably even be remembered. As sad as this sounds, isn't this the most liberating aspect of life there can be? Knowing this (not simply knowing, but internalizing that this is how it is) gave me a big boost in taking steps into uncertainty or doing what my old self would not have done. It's liberated me from expectations of others, of boundaries one is not even aware of.
How about stepping a step back and try to look at oneself and decide for yourself what you want, need, don't need in your life? How you would like yourself and your life to be? I guess in the end, everything comes down to one thing - to function in a way that doesn't harm you and others.
Be conscious about your decisions, your words, your attitude towards people, yourself.
Nothing really matters. And everything does.
You are precious.
We are all supposed to be made of stardust. I'm not quite confident in really being a star-based creature, but it's enough if I touch my left hand with my right hand to feel a particular sensation. There are real bones inside you, working muscles helping us make any movement, be it dancing, walking, writing.*
There is a certain magic in touching the hand of someone else, feeling the flesh and bones different from ours, yet working quite the same way. Sometimes, we forget about our bodies, getting too wrapped up in thoughts, plans, ideas... This all is understandable, but - don't forget to properly feed yourself, take care of yourself and the different parts of your shell and to MOVE. You need yourself.
*No illegal substances were used prior writing this text.
Siblings are the best thing the Universe could have given you.
They are the ones who know you from a side no one else does. They are sometimes the only ones being brutally honest to you (often in a truly non-diplomatic language). They are the ones saving your cell-phone number under Lars Ulrich (greetings to James Hetfield!). The type and amount of sh*t you have dealt with has a remarkable subset. You might be different from both the inside and the outside, yet when it comes down to life getting more realistic shapes and castles in the sky being crushed, they are the ones by your side. Always.
In case you were given the opportunity to be supported / mocked / brought into almost inhuman anger by a sibling, it might be a good time to send a Thank-you-note to the stork.
Be kind and help - whenever you can.
Let me introduce you to the sophisticated brother of Happiness. This bro likes positive change, works both instantly and long-term and is not operating only by you absorbing nice circumstances of life (vacations, food, jewelry etc.), but functions mainly outwards and can focus on a person you do not even know and have no expectations from.
Haaave you met Meaning?
You don't have to go to Africa to a humanitarian mission to make the life of someone more bearable. Every single day, you have the opportunity to have a date with Meaning - be it helping a friend or someone you don't really know. I am an advocate of random acts of kindness and find them deeply compatible with the way I function. It's of course everyone's choice how they would like to make the planet a better place for someone. At least for a brief moment of a random day.
And I heard Meaning is a guy that sticks around once the first spark happens.
Stuff is pointless and worthless.
This year, I couldn't shake the thought of having too many things. Who would sort and throw that all out if something happened to me? Getting rid of things is easy - you can donate clothes to the nearest welfare or emotionlessly feeding them to the big metal-mouthed container. I decided to give my unused items away via second-hand websites as well. I could at least satisfy my love for writing letters, wrapping and packing things and sending things via traditional post (#winwin #yesiknowmyhobbiesarestrange).
Turns out, people lack positive experience in human interaction badly and don't even expect to be treated nicely. Being "standardly me" (not that not-nice in general, I guess) has lead me to getting feedback like:
- Very nice and kind lady, whose messages will make your day better and will prove that decent people still exist
- a beautiful soul and a kind person
- I have never encountered such positive attitude. You must be from a fairy-tale!
- an angelic being
- if there existed more people like her, the world would be a better place
... and more. Imagine - if a person like ME could have spread such positive vibes, imagine what YOU can do!
(By the way, I also suspect that there is already enough unused items stored among people. Making these available to those who could make use of them would decrease the demand in stores significantly. You can get things for free, an honest thanks-for-taking-that included. At least that's what I was sending to those nice people who wrote the kind words of feedback above.)
Ask for what you want.
The inner slap I would give myself for staying quiet because I thought the other side must know what I want / doesn't have time for me / doesn't want to be bothered / any other untrue reason, would be massive.
People are really not in pain when asked for something. Should they really be bothered by your request for a higher salary, for a favor, for lending a pen or for anything they are in need of, they will tell you a straight no. Or at least come up with a nice excuse.
Winning is awesome. Especially if you win over yourself.
Kick your own ass regarding an important step or decision. Make things you have never dreamed of happen. Or fail and learn from it, and succeed the next time. (Or not - greetings to my unused driver's licence!)
Not doing anything because you think you're not good enough is the worst aspect to base a decision on. Maintain a healthy objectivity towards yourself and ask someone you trust for feedback and thoughts on your plans. (Try someone else than your mother, as her her opinion might be slightly biased.)
And in case you worry what the reactions of others will be - don't. Most people don't care about what you do or don't do. And those who matter will support you (sometimes with a facepalm, but still...).
Travel.
Why even bother going somewhere if you can google the pictures and videos, why explore on your own when you can find bullet-pointed travel-experiences on websites, blogs, magazines...? Why even hop on that plane when you can listen to quite-the-same stories about *insert the name of a random Asian country here* from several friends? Nowadays, traveling is something so unrare, resulting in similar photos and "adventures" of various people more than actively sharing these on the internet that it's hard to figure out where that special, solitary piece of quiet heaven you have always dreamed of could be.
The proximity of any place in the world has decreased immensely.
And yet, anytime I go somewhere - closer or further away, I feel more free of things I have never thought were even bothering me. For a certain amount of time I say goodbye to a self preserved in a particular set of circumstances.
Learn. Never ever forget to learn!
For me, foreign languages work. Or a new knitting pattern. Or even something super-serious and work-related. Pick your own area you are interested in, take a deep breath, dive in. Learning the Latin names of flowers and trees around you might be your new move. (Or am I the only one finding that really cool?)
Do you know when the best time to start learning this is? Yesterday. And the second best? Right now.
This time next year, you'll be happy that you started. ¡Estoy segura!
Žiadne komentáre:
Zverejnenie komentára